Word Ya Heard

WELL new years eve went well...food and food and chill and food...Im tired of trying to run around acting like a fool promising things to myself...I can promise this...year 2009 is all about hard work and money...so the I can be on a plane to tokyo japan fall 2009 ...I have to I must I don't care...Im going alone I don't care...fuck it all...Im going there to grow...

but here are the pictures from yesterday voila!!

It's like so...the minute the clock strikes 00:00 it means that you have a chance to start over...Im sorry to tell all of you and myself that sometimes getting a new start doesn't always mean startin fresh...You sometimes have to start from zero...
get a new job or educations, get new friends, get a new place to live, get a new car, get a new love, new life, new city, new pain...more pain...even if you get alot of new starts you always have to say goodbye to alot..
It's like you can have space for all the old if you are going to get the new...

Every year I try to learn myself from what I did wrong so that I could be greater at the new year...
And every year you get more pressure and pressure... It is exactly like during highschool...Every year you have to start over and every time it's as equally painful...

Here's a list of my new years eve disasters...

2003, My cousins came to gothenburg to celebrate...And I haven't met the youngest of the cousingroup...she is like a copy of me with same interest etc.etc...Only part is that she is the better one in the eyes of the relatives...Well I wouldn't have been so upset by it if they wouldn't have told me...5 minutes before midnight...but well it's hard hearing it when you are 16...so my new years I spend it all alone at a playground with one firecracker...

2004. My cousins came to visit once again...and I was trying to brace myself by taking the little cousin to the icerink...
It's not the cousin that I don't like..I love her..it's the comparisions and pointing out...well anyways....it became the breaking point when my aunt yelled out why can't you do a spin?
I should have realized that I don't do iceskating...at least not the jumps..But somehow I did...I skate and I jumped...and I hurt myself really badly and had to spend new years eve sitting in the kitchen with my cat and a bowl of chips...

2005, first new years eve away from the family...I was spending time with my boyfriend and his family...out in the bush...the coldest freaking place on earth...no tv...no nothing...there's nothing you could do...and Im a city-girl so sitting in a house that had no heat surounded by woods and mountains wasn't really that funny...
We fell asleep at 00:15 fun really fun...after 2 weeks we broke up...

2006 a new boyfriend and a new city...and new bunch of people...
if there is anything that I hate is when boyfriends get themselfs drunk and then ask me if I can help them...dude what are your friends for...Im not your mother...ofcourse Im the girlfriend..but as much as you guys is in denial that we girls do nr 2 at the bathroom as much do we hate to take care of you when you are drunk...
So I end up yelling at him to take care of himself...got myself pretty drunk...and almost got rape by a lesbian girl

2007 finally I got to spend time with friends...good friends with good food and all...
only problem was that I had made plans with 3 different groups of friends....
One at the other side of the town the other one was in the middle of the town...and the other group I didn't know where they where...and trying to find a cab 23:40 isn't that smart...so I spend my new years on a mountain running around in heels trying to catch a bus...and had to walk down all the way down...after a while I found myself without friends and barefoot in the middle of the winter in the middle of central station...fell asleep at 02:00

2008. well let's see what happens tonight...All I know is that life somehow always manage to get me into trouble...really unpredictable...
I hate that...I have so much things to think about and so much to fix...

Happy new year..yeah sure

I have done this since I started at KomCtv:

H.C Andersen 30 min (a project that took a lot of time, not my best job but still)
BudoXpert (cameraman, it was fun to run around in a shop full of toys and weapons)
Peter Kay Mortensen 30 min gånger 2 (he was a bit blank, nice guy but blank)
Lizette Risgaard 30 min (she looked a bit grey because of the scarf)
Vinprogram med Vinekspert Finn Klysner (yes got drunk after the recording) 30 min
Mads Lebech (Major of Frederiksberg, what a dilf haha) 30 min
Vibeke Storm Rasmussen 30 min (all by my self I did it all by my self myyyyy selllfff traaalllalala)
Frank Johansson 30 min (ensam all alone m9ed programmet där också)
Per Christensen 30 min (han var hot, riktig dilf)
Anders Bondo Christensen 30 min (my gaad how cute he looks like harry potter)
Steen Gade politiker, FILMADE OCH LJUSSATTE OCH ljudtekniker ( dock var ljudet lite bad men jag tar på mig det) pang boomshakalak madda fakkalak klippningen är inte min uppgift så nån har fakkat det totalt



Just don't get fooled that my name aint in the credits since I haven't change the names from the old credits...but it's copyrajt KOMCtv / LILI PHAM / Im a whoop your ass you don't believe me!



I have shit to do people...Got to go!

I don't like this anymore...This bloging thing...and even thru that I blog and it's so boring...I find that Im not that good at promoting myself in a good way with outfits and pictures...I just say that Im good and that I do good thing...that's it...

But one thing...there was an earthquake today in Skåne...amazingly I didn't felt it...But everybody else that I know did...Skåne was in shock...I on the other hand had to get to work...I had to impress and since I was on my own with the studio I had to kick ass...And now it's going broadcast on the internet and the radio...Im goodie good...
earthquake or not I had to get to work and do my shit...

one thing more shocking then earthquake is that my mother has got a facebook-profile....I don't like that...not with all my pictures but what can I do...what will she do? trow me into the earthquake? yes probably...

well Im going to take a shower and  get off the smell of cookies...since my gymnasts and I had a little last-practice-before-christmas-celebration I made everyone bring with them cookies and we had alot of cookies...so we ate and where happy and laughed til we cried and spilled and ate and just get chunkie....

Happy christmas all my little gymnasts and see you soon very soon

Yes this song makes me want to get on a motorcycle...and yes tom cruise is less crazy here and it's good to listen to these kind of heartbreaking songs...not cause you're heartbroken but everyones got a dramaqueen on the inside that just want to get out and cry standing on a mountain...This is the song for that
It's a good karaokesong if you want to kill the partymode and make everybody crawl into the corner and slowdance...
and a perfect song for the trainstation...imagine your loved one running after you at the trainstation to this....Makes any macho-nacho a crybaby...

Im like this because I've been to a funeral to a relative...Not only was he family to some but he was a womans love...Imagine the pain to go to you loved ones funeral...no matter what age...it's terrible and as much as I miss him as family, I realize when I stood there holding the women that was by his side til the end how heartbreaking that was...I couldn't stop crying cause it felt horrible that she had to say goodbye...
Im so emotional nowadays and I need to be...it's christmas and it's a time you need to be with those you love...No matter who or where...You just need to slave...

Im going to make a list of things bad things that I have done and what good it came out of it...
Not to bore the hell out of you but it's for myself...self-inflict at it's best...Hopefully I learn one or another....

1. the bad part Got a piercing on my lower lip...got it infected and removed after 3 weeks
the good part is that it really didn't go well with my preppy cheerleading look back then

2. the good part was when I went all by myself to NYC to become wiser and older.
the bad part was when I went into saks fifth avenue and bought a chanel foundations for about 600 swedish crowns within 5 minutes after entering the shop

3. the bad part Moving to skåne in the first place.
the good part...denmark is just on the other side of the bridge

4. the bad part is that I've lost my drivinglicens...I still have permission to drive just that I lost the card
the good part...I look damn good on the picture so who ever found has probably kept it for further masturbation-moments

5. the good part was when I started to make gingerbread-house yesterday
the bad part is that Im turning into a desperate housewife...

there's more to come...Im just so darn busy right now....

the dragon will return soon....

It's easy taking candy from a stranger...especially when you are cheep already...It's not harce to say things like this...
In an industri like media and showbiz etc. etc. it's so easy to be a sell-out, an outlet-bitch...You know what I mean...
these fools are acting like monkeys...come and see the monkeys dance...
I can't sell myself out like a cheep slutty-nutty bitch like that...I've worked hard to get where I am today and fought for good teamwork sticking up to what ever teams that I end up in...
How can you as a humanbeing act like that?
I think that the animals stick together more then humans do...
Humans is a bunch a big ass idiots with plastic toys...

My old team-mates in gothenburg used to call me blondie...Cause I could sometimes act really blondie-meangirl and diva-like and dramaqueen and be a bitch to every new that comes to the team...But there's a reason for it...I was sticking up for my team..barking at everything that was coming from the outside...because that's what I believe in...Sticking up for your friends and family and workfriends and team-mates and everybody that has been there for me and being on my side...

I can't believe how easy it is to just trow that all away if somebody trows candy in your face...Some girls and boys for that mather in this mediabusiness act like a pack of hungry hyenas...They don't care about anybody but just swallow pretty much anything that is trown to them...and don't have any sence of respect in their bodies to even think about teamwork...
There's a price to pay if you take candy from a stranger...You can swallow and fall into the crap and be just like the other slutties that swallowed the candy and rotten with them...

this is the time..this is now when the bitches and backstabbers gets separated...
choose your side?
I rather be the biggest bitch in town sticking up for my team then being a backstabber with no respect

Oki Im writing some screenplays and now you have the problem of choosing names for the characters...
But then I got off track and had to find out what the meaning of my four names..Firstname 1, Familyname, First name 2 and Middlename.

The first translation is pretty off...I didn't understand why my parents didn't just keep it one time but they had to go and change it after awile to a more european style and double the letters up.
Maybe because both of them where spending too much time in europe that they felt like changing my name to...
But anyways...My firstname vol. 1 was not Lili...nope Im sorry folks...
It was just plain...Ly...My father gave me that name...easy simple...nothing more...that was the origin of the name that I have now...Lili...My mother changed it after a while...the thing is that my aunt and cousins and the rest of my familygang calls me simply by..Ly...it's on my birthcertificate that my grandfather has...
Well it means nothing more then Lion...and what a coincidence. Im a augustchild...born in the sign of a lion...
Flashy right

So let's go over to the familyname which is Pham...And from what I can tell it means "Offend" like you know hating ditching trashtalk you name it...That is the closest that you could translate that...The only sentence that name works in is
"Offend the law"
So you pretty much have a lion that is offending the law...
Im an outlaw..A gangster...a thug...what can I do...
just Keep it gangster!

The other name such as my second firstname...I know it sounds stupid having a second first name which should be the first but when you already have a first den it has to be second...But second names there is no such thing..What I have is a second first name cause Im pretty damn special so I can have two first names...
But well that name H---- means "scent of a flower"
Not what scent and not even a specific flower...Just means the scent of a flower or more like a delicious scent of something somewhat like a flower/perfume...that is pretty confusing since som flowers smells like shit and so do some perfumes...Im gonna go with being a lovely smell instead of smelling like crap...

and the last name...the middle name...it means autumn...just autumn...I love autumn...It's the one seasons where you see soft red yellow brown soft colors...it's windy I know but autumn is the only season where you are wearing the most beautiful clothes of the year...beautiful scarfs and light autumn-jackets with the little boots and you can where skirts and have a little umbrella and maybe a pretty hat...I love the autumn...it's a good season...so there you have it people...

Lion with a scent of a flower in the autumn

I have things to say and things to do and things to figure out and more things to leave behind...
Im going abroad with or without you...Where is my appartment? where are all my girls?
where did all the nights with coffe and cookies go?
Am I a fool to believe that giving something up can change it all...
Not in this lifetime...either you take what you want and hope it to stay...if not then you can just cry your heart out and move on which more massdestruction...

I've been lying to myself and everyone else....
Something is about to happen, I can feel it...9 weeks of hallways and cameras and lamps and rain and wind and the lack of coffe and the wish for coffe and the waiting for answers and love and hate and him and this and me and life and us...
when will the word us come to us...or maybe we have made up our minds for how the past is affecting the future...
Im young...I don't think I want to grow old..not for now..I  don't know.. who knows....and well with my immaturity I don't think I should be stupid to..

I have a project...no 2 projects on my mind...I don't feel like breaking down right before my favorite holiday...
taking care of my classmates...keeping the cheifs happy...taking time visiting my family and friends...sort out my life, lovelife gymnasticlife, studentlife and pastlife...
Decorate my mothers apartment before Christmas arrives...the theme for this year is going to be Bon Bon cookie-land
so the christmastree is going to be decorated with candy and gingerbread-cookies and other delicious things that you actually could eat...I've already started a bit...

so this is a list of my projects before the Clock strikes 00:00 2009

1. One 30 sec commercial for Lugi Gymnastic.
2. One 2 minutes commercial for Lugi Gymnastic JSM contest april 2009 which has to be done before christmas
3. A project for KOMCTV about a danish thing...can't tell you right now.
4. Columbia University application
5. Gymnasticroutine.
6. Getting back all my songs that I lost when I had to blast the computer :( where have all my róisín murphy songs gone to? One positive thing is that there is someone else in my life that likes róisín to

Good Luck little girl..your life is knocking at you door and it has big surprices waiting for you

I'll feel alone, when I'm coming home


my good friend A has probably the worse taste in music if you had to critic in a real musicloving way...But that's still not as big of a problem like the problem I have...A might listen to too much 80s music too much 90s and some "bootyshaking" music...But I listen to "soundtracks"
Im not talking about listening to music from movies...
I have all my life put some kind of music, a theme song for almost every event in my life...
For example when I met new people I have a song that I associate with them...Some people get two or three songs..It's freakish I know...But It helps me to remember them for a long time...

This is one song that I associate to my best friends boyfriend...The minute that me and the boyfriend meet I started singing in my head the song "dance, boogie wonderland"
And it was really creepy since my friend said that her boyfriends father in the 60s was a really disco-daddy

so you see I have pretty much all kinds of soundtrack for almost everything...
Right now Im listening to modern talking...It is soo asian...it is Lili in this song...I love the part in the song where you can sing in really high notes...That day when I step out of the plane and entering the streets of Tokyo Japan...I will surely sing this song again....Ohh my sexy little lover...Lalalala

The first time that I came to NYC I had the song by Frank Sinatra "New York"
and the funny part is that there was a drunk streetmusician that played me the song when I was standing waiting for the subway...
It is strang isn't it...

Veckans Horoskop för Lejon 22 Juli - 22 Augusti


Du vill bli omtyckt, precis som alla andra runt dig,
men du skulle aldrig slå knut på dig själv för att förändra någons åsikt om dig.
Eller skulle du det? Din nuvarande situation är unik.
Ett utbrott av lite god vilja kan göra livet lättare för de flesta.
Du har råd att bjuda på dig själv lite extra nu. Du har ett överskott av härlig charm.


Det stämmer ganska väl faktiskt...

My gaad! I have 5 essays to write before freaking 1 december. I don't have time. and everyfreaking paper has to be in english.
Im screwed!
It´s over.
O V E R...
Im gonna take a shower and cry!
cry my heart out

jag har ingen ork mer med plånboken!
Jag ska skaffa en plånbok med en kedja. Just nu befinner sig min plånbok nånstans långt borta i malmös djungel.
där mitt vackra körkort och id och  bankkort ligger. Allting är spärrad era jävla sneakiga jävlar. så att köpa nåt på mitt kort online med mitt cvvkod går inte. Gör ni det så kommer jag antagligen att få reda på när transaktionen och köpet gjordes.
Aja baja.

Så låten passar ganska bra just nu vad gäller mitt förhållande med min rosa plånbok som jag har tappat bort 6 gånger på ett år. Bokstavligt talat.