Word Ya Heard

Im gonna tell you about my friday the 13th...
No one will ever be able to come up to me and say that there is no way that bad things can happen...
Im the living prof of what has happened.

I decided that me and my group of gymnast that I train to change trainingday from thursday to friday...Silly me that I forget that it was friday the 13th...not that it matters at all...since we have just about a week before competition for the first time with this team...

6 Boys and 14 girls are going to compete next sunday...

Anyways...the trainingsession started off really well...everyone was quite for once and focused...
It was a calm chill traning that friday and just 30 min before the training would end...

We where training on the trampolin with double volts and when you do the double volts you have to keep your legs apart so that the head have some place to go...
One of my gymnast has been doing that volt many times before but something happen...

She held her legs closed to her and kept together...When she landed on the math she asked me if she had a nosebleed.

Im happy that I have a good eyesight and not halfblind like some people do and I could see from a couple of meters away that she was bleeding but she was bleeding on the top of her nose and something appears to look like a bone...

I  jumped down on the math that she was lying on and slipped my hand under her neck to keep her head up so that she could breath. And I could feel and see the blood just flushing out from her nose like some kind of bad horror slasher jason movie...Where did I get my calmness from? I don't have a clue but I managed to keep her and the rest of the group amazingly calm...a miracle...
I lied to them...She asked me if she had broken her nose and I said calm and slowly "no honey you just got a bump, you look fine but we will call an ambulance just incase"

I was shaking when I called the ambulance but I managed to explain where we where and also what had happen and at the same time keeping her calm...And suprisingly she was really calm and laughed about the whole accident which was absolutly amazing.

The ambulance came after 15 minutes...during these 15 minutes it felt like 1 hour...She started to shake really hard in my hands and I still had my hands behind her neck and the other hand whipping blood from her face and keeping her breathing to not fall into a blackout because of chock...

Then the ambulance came and we went of to the hospital..I told the rest to just close the doors and that we would see each other on the next practice...
I heard one of the gymnast asking me if I had been thru this kind of accident before!
I lied and told them ofcourse I had been thru this 100 times before and I tried to smile and went into the ambulance...

I held her hands and made her think about fun things and told her stupid stories from my time as a gymnast and keep telling my girl that it looked worse then it is always...
And the doctor could stich her up and tejped and then her parents came to pick her up and I some how managed to calm them down...After some paper work we could all go home to rest...My gymnast with a broken nose but still full of energy and joy even through the accident...

as I was on my way to the centralstation I started to think about the accident and then right there at centralstation I started to get a panicattack...Now the chock hit me..It was alot of blood, a broken nose that you could see the bone...ambulance and a gymnast that was shaking and parents that where worried and stiches and needles and the sound of her nose breaking...
I saw the accident replayed over and over again in my mind and when I got home I couldn't sleep or eat I just staired at the wall and started crying....
I started to question my self as a trainer and as a gymnast and judge and everything about me and gymnastics...
I felt like I didn't deserved to be anybodys trainer after that and that everthing was my fault and I was scared that what if this happens again...what if it was me that made her do the volt? and now she has a broken nose...

I finally managed to sleep but the whole night I kept dreaming nightmares about her...and the accident....
the whole saturday I just walked around like a ghost and hating the fact that I had to get to the gymnastichall the next day to have another training after all  that has happened and seeing the accident over and over again...
I decided to mail all the parents so that they wouldn't worry for their children at practice even though I had lost a big amount of confidence when it comes to being a trainer but I had to let the parents know that it happened and what I did about it...

Today during practice I felt good..even trough the nightmares and the image of the accident over and over again I had to just shut myself up and act like a trainer and not like a gymnast...And all my gymnasts where calm even after all...
And they where curious about how the doctor treated her and how she was feeling...

And now when I just arrived home I open my mail and had received alot of mail from the parents that my gymnasts after the accident went home and told their parents that "Lili was so cool"

It wasn't so bad maybe after all..I did my best and I did what a good trainer should do and my gymnasts they trust me even after this...my confidence is back and it feels ok...hopefully no more nightmares....